No More Faith

Be prepared for a long diatribe here . . . I've got a lot to say on this issue.

Here's the thing. I was raised Catholic. Used to be really active in my church, also . . . was an Altar Server as a kid, active in the parish youth group (first as a youth, then a leader), active at a Newman Center when I went off to college, attended Mass every Sunday & Holy Day). I went through all the usual rites . . . Baptism, First Communion, Confirmation, Reconcilliation (sometimes). In other words, I was above average in my Catholic faith and involvement. But, as is somewhat common, a few years ago I fell away from the Church. Initially, it was predominantly due to disagreement with my parish's Pastor. I got rather frustrated with his frequent political stump speaches during the Sermon, taking it upon himself to change the words of the Gospel (the Word of God!) in order to make them politically correct, and really aggitated when I caught him straight up lying to parishoners.

Over the past few years, I have on several occasions felt the desire to re-kindle my relationship with Christ, which included wanting to attend church services again. But each time I considered it, it seemed that something would cause me to lose faith again. Not lose faith in God, or in my Christianity, but faith in the Catholic Church. I realized that even though I had spent my entire life as a Catholic, and was more involved than the average Catholic, I didn't have a firm understanding of my own faith. I had very little information on the "why's" of various traditions and teachings. That, in and of itself, made me lose confidence in the Church--for how could they not be teaching their followers the "why's" of things? How could they effectively be encouraging a lack of understanding? So, I began doing my own research. And discovered a few things. Much of it was very interesting, and logical. But large portions of it were, quite frankly, assinine. But, I won't go into details here.

I still felt a loyalty to the Church, though, so continued to associate myself with the Catholic faith (even though I was non-practicing). Then, each time I began to feal the need to begin attending services again, the Church (or, more often, some Officials within the Church) would do something to really tick the crap out of me. There was the whole sex abuse scandal (specifically, the fact that the Church actually tried to cover it up, and protect those priests who committed those vile acts). Following that up, there was/is the attitude that the "Zero Tolerance" rule is "too harsh". I mean, come on! How can anyone possibly say that someone who sexually abuses a child is deserving/capable of minitering God's Word?!?!

Then there was the whole politicizing of the Sacrament of Communion. Several Bishops feel that those who support abortion (both politicians and voters who support those politicians) should not be eligible to receive Communion. Hogwash! I mean, if they had come out and said that politicians and voters who support ideals directly contrary to Catholic teachings shouldn't receive Communion (or other Sacraments) then I wouldn't have a problem with it (well, except for the whole "how do you know how your parishoners voted?" issue). But that's not what was done. Abortion was singled out, in a very blatant attempt at influencing American politics. Why do I say it was blatant? Think about it . . . George W. Bush is anti-abortion, while John Kerry is pro-choice. With this "policy" (admittedly, it has not been officially adopted by the Church, but neither has the Church taken a stance against it), the Church is effectively telling/mandating its followers to vote for Bush--they're using a Holy Sacrament to extort votes. And it is being done solely on a single issue. I mean, the Catholic Church is equally against the death penalty, an issue which Bush whole-heartedly supports and Kerry opposes . . . but there's no mention of anyone forfeiting their Sacramental rights over that issue, is there?

So, anyway, feeling a need to bring Christ back into my life, I've begun attending a non-denominational church. I haven't been attending long enough to say, categorically, that it's a great thing, but so far it's promissing. And this morning, I read this, which just further strengthens my conviction that leaving the Catholic Church is definitely the right decision. The wafers used by the Church are nothing like the bread that was used at the Last Supper . . . nothing. Further, the whole concept of receiving Communion is based entirely on the belief that one is not consuming a piece of bread, but that that little wafer has been fully transfigured into the Body of Christ. So what does it matter whether the original wafer (which, again, is nothing like the bread Christ used, nor is it even bread when it is received but instead is the Body of Christ) has wheat in it?! The fact that they (the Church) are saying this little girl should literally risk her health and even life in order to receive the Sacrament (without which she is not "saved", according to Catholic teachings) is just idiotic. As her mother said, this is a Church rule, not God's will. But once again (as has been shown throughout history, and even in very recent times) the Church is more concerned with imposing/enforcing its own rules than following God's will.

Inasmuch as these people draw near with their mouths
And honor Me with their lips.
But have removed their hearts far from Me.
And their fear toward Me is taught by the commandment of men.
--Isaiah 29:13